Why I Love Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Some of you may not know this, but I’m a huge Movie/TV fanatic. I’ve grown up watching so many movies with my family that it was almost a tradition every Friday night to watch a movie together after dinner. So what comes with watching as many movies as I have in life, is you start losing interest in the quick pleasure movies. These aren’t bad movies, but their general purpose is not meant to go farther than quick pleasure and a satisfying conclusion. Something to offer a feel good romance, some good car racing, or thrilling fight scenes. Personally my preferences lean towards movies with a hidden theme, underlying metaphor, or offer a new perspective to a controversial topic. I am also generally drawn to darker movie content, because maybe thats just where I am in my life… Or maybe I’m realizing adult life isn’t just fairytale romances, perfect families, and lifelong friendships. Life is a lot more complex, there are things that change a course you initially had in mind for yourself. Unexpected horrible things happen and unexpected wonderful things happen— but 99.99999% of the time, your life doesn’t end up like the movies you watched growing up.
So today I am going to be doing a breakdown of one of my favorite movies of all time, Breakfast at Tiffany’s. And no, it’s not because it’s fashionable or a blogger girl central aesthetic... It’s because like most people and life experiences, there is a lot more to it than meets the eye.
Back in high school, my dad bought me the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s with Audrey Hepburn because it was supposed to be all things “fashion” and “New York.” Seemingly right up my alley as a young, naive, hopeful adolescent, right? Wrong! By the end of the movie, I was immensely disappointed. I hated it and did not understand the characters or the hype at all! I felt bad because I thought there was something wrong with me that I didn’t understand this classic, and iconic “fashion” film. Eight years later, I rewatched the same movie and it had me in tears.... it is now one of my favorite movies of all time.
First off, if you have not seen this movie, obviously there are spoilers ahead; but it’s not the kind of movie with an unpredictable ending, so I still recommend reading having not seen the movie. Maybe it will help you to appreciate it more having read the true meaning before watching!
First and foremost: THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY! At least not in the traditional boy meets girl sense. This is a story about a girl, Holly Golightly, who wanted more out of life than what her small town roots expected from her. So at 19 she left to find out exactly what that meant for her and moved to New York City. She didn’t know who she was or what she was looking for (like many 19 year olds), but she took the terrifying, lonely, and courageous step to leave the comfort, familiarity, and security of her home in pursuit of self fulfillment.
People don’t give enough credit to adolescents taking this step at 17-19. Whether you left for college, moved out of your parents house, or moved to a new city— this is a huge step towards independence and self discovery for anyone who has lived at home for their entire life! The decision to do so is kind of downplayed as it is something that is expected of us when we reach that age. Choosing to leave home is scary no matter what, but choosing to leave home and go somewhere completely new, is terrifying. I’ll admit, my adjustment to college was tough. It ended up being a kind of culture shock I did not expect. It meant I had a hard time making friends because people thought I was “weird” for being different. I didn’t dress like everyone else, I didn’t enjoy the same things that the majority of the school seemed to, I didn’t share the same beliefs… I experienced what it was like to be an “outcast,” for the first time. Looking back, I’m grateful college was the first time I had to experience it. So many others have had to face that loneliness all throughout their adolescent years. But the blessing in disguise was how the experience led me to find out more about who I was and who I wanted to be! Since then, I have always made it a point to make sure everyone in a room feels included; That the person who doesn’t know anyone has someone to talk to. Or the person wearing something outside of the “norm” doesn’t feel insecure. Or the person who looks different because of the color of their hair or skin or whatever it is that society or their community has made them feel excluded for. Everyone deserves empathy and compassion, and the opportunity to be themselves. Individuality is something to be celebrated, not condemned.
Holly’s move to New York is an attempt to pave a new life for herself, and her brother (who is away at war). By making this leap, she wanted and needed to be able to support herself and her brother. But along the way she lost sight of what she set out to do. She lost herself in the standards of society and who she was supposed to be according to them. In learning to support herself and her brother, it got misconstrued in her head to only mean through financial stability and not emotional connection. By doing this, she shut off her vulnerability and ability to connect deeply with others. Seeking financial stability had become her sole focus again, and she began looking for security through others again. She became a “call girl” of sorts and kept tabs on the richest men in Manhattan, one of whom she intended to marry one day. So her journey to achieve more in life, and discover herself had become a journey towards security via marriage once more. She forgets about her own journey towards happiness and love and therefore disconnects emotionally.
This is relatable for many of us who left for college or careers at 18, trying to create a life for ourselves that will support us for the rest of our lives. With this, our main focus became the ability to make enough money, all the while often forgetting what makes us happy. In my experience, I began my major in business. It was safe, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I knew it was a degree that could lead to a steady income. However, my sophomore year after a few accounting, finance, and operations management classes, I realized how miserable of a path I was laying down for myself. After an extremely discouraging “Business Fair” in which companies came in and pitched job opportunities to the students, I felt completely overwhelmed. I didn’t see one company geared towards fashion, beauty, lifestyle, travel or any of the things I was interested in. I felt like I had set myself up for a passionless life because I couldn’t see myself at any of the companies introduced via my business degree. While everyone in the field around me saw great opportunity for themselves, I again felt like a fish out of water— like everyone saw their paths and future laid out for them, and I still couldn’t see mine. I left before it even ended and called my dad crying, confused, and desperate for guidance. After a short, supportive, and encouraging conversation, I set up a meeting with my school counselor the next day and added my Apparel Merchandising minor. Though the late addition meant piling on an overwhelming amount of work at times, I was doing something closer to what I loved. This addition allowed me to find so many more opportunities and career paths in which I could incorporate some of my favorite forms of creativity.
Early in the movie, a handsome young stranger moves in next door (less relatable, ugh), and begins to challenge Holly’s way of life— though not immediately, and not intentionally. They both are coming from a situation in which they’ve sacrificed their character for financial security. For her neighbor, Paul, he is a writer who accepts money and a lavish NY apartment in exchange for sex. What is so great about their second meeting, is that Holly sees this and passes no judgment. She in fact sees herself in him. They quickly become great friends in which they are able to completely be themselves with one another. In this, both her and Paul are able to remember their priorities in life, and repave their paths to their individualistic happiness.
I think this movie spoke to me a lot more as of late, because it is also a love letter to New York. It’s a hard place to live. I mean, really hard. It doesn’t matter how much you hustle, how much money you make, how much you go out, it’s never enough! Because of the size and the pace of it, it’s impossible to keep up. But in that, it means infinite opportunities, infinite experiences, and infinite adventures. While New York can at times be the absolute worst, it is and will always be the absolute BEST. It’s why so many people, despite the hardships, continue to live there. I can’t tell you how much I’ve grown and changed as a person from living there for two years. You will get lost in the hustle for more cash because of how much the cost of living is, and get so physically and emotionally exhausted, beyond the point of what you ever thought you could handle. But the experience has truly made me the person I am today. I was always someone concerned about everyone else’s comfort and happiness— like I had to be friendly and sociable with the cashier or Uber driver, even when I was having a bad day. Or that if someone asked me to do something I always said yes because I didn’t want to appear “rude” (that’s southern roots for ya). But New York taught me how to take a step back and learn to be able to put myself first. Now I don’t mean you should only ever think of yourself, or have the right to be disrespectful to those in the service industry, just because you’re having a bad day. Like I said, you should always have compassion and empathy for others (everyone’s fighting their own battles), but in seeking other’s happiness and approval of me in my younger years, I never allowed myself to discover my TRUE self. I was always who others wanted or needed me to be. Transforming a little of myself to the mold of the person I was with. Since then, I have discovered more personal passions and spoken out for things I believe in. I don’t feel like I always need to put on a happy face, or pretend everything is okay when it’s not. I am so proud and comfortable with who I am as a person, and no longer feel ashamed or “boastful” to say that. I’ve accomplished amazing things in my life! I moved to NY right out of college having no connections, and zero knowledge of the city. I got a job at a Top 10 U.S. Retail company after hustling for months as a freelancer. I paid off my loans in full, made new friends, and discovered a confidence I don’t think will ever be diminished. I discovered the power of my independence and know if I can make it there, I can make it anywhere! Like Holly though, the hustle for making a living there also created new insecurities and anxieties. I occasionally lost my priorities and overworked myself in order to keep up with rent, go out with friends, and pay off loans. Which leads me to my favorite part of the whole movie….
The “mean reds.” No not the blues. Not the down or sad feelings we all experience at times. The mean reds are anxiety, which I know we ALL experience. Some more than others, but I know for a fact we can all relate. The only way Holly can escape or “cope” with the mean reds is to go to Tiffany’s, because “nothing bad can ever happen to you at Tiffany’s!” In fact, the movie starts with her enjoying a coffee and croissant at the windows of the Tiffany’s on Fifth Avenue after a long night of partying. Nothing is said in the intro, there is no dialogue, it is something you have to realize based on her extravagant appearance and the slow rising sun in the background— something I was not able to interpret as a 14 year old lol. Holly’s explanation of the “mean reds” completely rerouted all of my expectations for the movie (good thing it happens in the first 10 minutes!). It was such a wonderful way of describing adulthood anxiety that I am sharing the dialogue below:
Holly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul: Sure.
Holly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!
Now, at 25 years old I finally understand the significance of this scene in my adulthood.
Another thing I was able to understand later in life was Holly’s ultimate goal of finding a place she “belongs.” She doesn’t belong to anyone, or anywhere, and no one belongs to her. Not even the stray cat she took in, Cat. She fantasizes of a place where she feels completely at ease— happy, settled, and content. So her apartment is a half packed, half furnished space (in fact her couch is actually a bathtub, in case you never realized!). She talks to Paul about Cat not belonging anywhere, and that if she ever found a place that made her feel like Tiffany’s does, she would “buy some furniture and give the cat a name!”
At 25, I find myself both too unsettled and adventurous to commit to having too many belongings, but also wanting that space that I can finally call my own. A place where I can buy furniture that I want to keep for years. A place that I can keep my old yearbooks and sentimental belongings. A place where I can actually accumulate more than just things that will fit in a suitcase. I often find myself fantasizing of a place like this, but unfortunately the blurry part of this fantasy is the where. Much like Holly.
Reaching the end of the movie, Holly suddenly becomes distant and cold when Paul confesses his “love” for her. She is afraid his love will put her in “a cage.” However Paul opens her eyes to the reality that she has been so afraid of being put in a cage that she’s created one for herself— that doesn’t allow her to experience things like true love, or being herself.
This one hits uncomfortably close to home. I have always steered clear of possible relationship commitments that make me feel bound to a person, or place. Ever since I was young I had plans to travel and live in exciting places. In college I was too afraid to date and “fall in love” with anyone because I thought it would mean me sacrificing plans to go to New York— or anywhere for that matter. Once you are in a partnership, it’s no longer all about you, as now you have to consider each other. Until I watched this movie, I was never really able to make that connection. I always thought it was my priorities and my annoyance of texting or constantly having to “check in” with each other (which is still applicable tbh…), that kept me from being interested in a committed relationship. However this movie helped me to see it for what it is. Fear. I fear a committed relationship will put me in a cage. It keeps me from doing what I want, when I want, where I want. There is a certain loss of independence that comes with being in a committed relationship. It means sometimes sacrificing things for one another, because now it’s a partnership. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, my priorities really are just elsewhere. I currently don’t have as great an interest in boys as I do in myself! Of course I could always push myself to put myself out there more, and quit letting the commitment fear keep me from something (or someone) who could be really great! But at the moment, I would like to be able to be completely comfortable with myself, by myself, and then let someone come along that will be a healthy addition to my life, not my whole life. I want my happiness and security to come from myself, not from my relationships. Which is why I really enjoy the relationship between Holly and Paul. It is first and foremost a friendship, where they just enjoy being in each other’s company and partaking in fun activities like shoplifting (lol) and going to Tiffany’s! However they both challenge each other, inspire one another to rediscover their passions, and get to be themselves. They each live their own lives, but at the end of the day they come together and share the one they have together.
I hope this post was able to help you to appreciate the movie more, or inspire you to finally go watch! But most importantly, I hope it was able to help you learn something incredible about yourself or appreciate your life’s path for what it is. We are all so different with such unique lives, not one better than the other. In today’s society and the pressure to feel like you should have it all, it’s great to be able to watch movies like this that remind us that life isn’t all glamorous, and our path’s are not always neatly laid before us— and even if they are and it’s not what you want for yourself, don’t be afraid to pursue something different! Life is actually really freaking hard, give yourself a little compassion. You might as well spend it doing something you love, being with someone you love, and being someone that you love :)
Xx kristin